today i sat in the nursery of our new house. there is only an ikea rug on the floor and the white mini elephants on a string that i bought from a little shop in katmandu. when i was in the store, i bought that string of elephants for our future baby, but i didn’t tell scott what it was for. scott and i weren’t even engaged at the time, but i knew how our story would go.
over the past few years, our story has unfolded in the most unexpected and beautiful way.
scott and i got married on a 54 degree day at the end of november. i danced with my dad, i danced with my mom, i danced with my sister, and scott and i ran through a tunnel of dragons and a tunnel of sparklers. it was the most special day of my life.
the next day we heard from the mayo clinic that dad was selected to start the clinical trial. our family lived through the polar vortex and actually had a pretty good time with each other.
the stem cells didn’t work.
so, my parents moved to california to live out their retirement dreams. it was much more difficult than i ever anticipated. my mom and i are more similar than either of us want to admit, we both like to manage our households, so when we shared a household, things got hairy. it was awkward, then bad, then horrible, and then we had family visits that helped things immensely. we settled. we started to get along. we went on mini road trips to little saigon and we hung out with each other at night and watched house of cards.
somewhere in there, scott and i went to hawaii and worked really hard. then we found out that we were pregnant. we are so happy/nervous/excited/anxious. we decided to move out to have more space for ourselves and for our baby.
i meditated in the nursery; with every breath i took in i transferred it to our baby boy, asking the world to bless him with health and a happy heart. every breath i exhaled i told the world that i believed in miracles and that if one could be bestowed on my dad, please, please, please choose him.